Beauty therapist problems, eh?
1. You will develop a ‘salon tone’ when you talk to clients.
2. At some point, your boss will have the salon air-con on so high, frost bite will become a real threat.
3. You will develop a hatred for clients who come into the salon while sick. Then you’ll eventually come in sick yourself and do your best to pretend you’re not dying.
4. You’ll accidentally see way more of a client’s naked body than you ever wanted to. And no amount of therapy will erase the image from your brain.
5. You will have to wax or massage the chest of your own client version of Channing Tatum, and it will make you all flustered and giggly.
6. Ironically, despite spending all day removing other people’s body hair, you will never have time to shave your own legs.
7. You will know more about your clients’ lives than their own therapists.
8. You’ll have days where you’ll seriously consider burning the salon to the ground.
9. You will weep for the weekend. And the TGIFs you’ll never have.
10. You will have days where you will feel like you just lost ten years of your life.
11. You will bond with a small, elite group of fellow therapists who’ll become your work friends, and make each day in the salon all the more bearable.
12. At some point, someone in the salon will crank up the radio when it’s dead and you’ll dance around the treatment room pretending you’re Beyonce.
13. A client will unleash their bratty children in your salon and they will tear apart everything in sight.
14. You will meet a client who, no matter what you say or do, can never be happy. And you’ll visualise the different ways you can kill them while biting your teeth and flashing them a strained smile.
15. You will inevitably suffer a wax pot explosion.
16. The salon computer system will crash at the worst possible time, and it will feel like all hell has been unleashed on you.
17. You will genuinely worry all the bending over the treatment table has turned you into the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
18. Your friends and family will insist you give them free treatments at every given opportunity.
19. You will be asked many unreasonable things by overly optimistic clients.
20. You will recognise a client based off their vagina.
21. And you’ll briefly imagine what life would’ve been like if you’d never worked in a salon, and instantly realise how bored you’d be.
